And Because I Couldn't Resist

Note to self: when asking for a translation, double check to make sure that you have it right before you slap it on a road sign.

Happy Halloween!

In honor of the holiday, TRC and I had a little pre-Halloween party yesterday evening while DKC was working. We watched It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown and You're Not Elected, Charlie Brown, both of which TRC thought were hilarious. We ate candy corn, and I got him a small Lightning McQueen car (he's Lightning McQueen this year). He had a blast.

I put him to bed and watched Resident Evil: Apocalypse, which was about as bad as I expected it to be. Lots of things went boom, and there were zombies aplenty (which was my reason to watch it--trying to catch some of the more recent zombie flicks to stay current for ParkerBoy). Two stars. It wasn't abysmal, but it was nothing to write home about, either. After that, DKC was done, and the two of us watched an edited version of The Rocky Horror Picture Show. This was an odd one for me. My friends in high school used to watch this all the time, and I could have sworn I had seen it at some point in my life. I knew the songs for the first half, but then . . . there was a lot in there that I honestly had no recollection of. I had warned DKC that it was weird. She concluded at the end that it was "even worse than Labyrinth," which to this point has been what she considers the lowest of the low when it comes to popular American movies that make no sense to her. Hey--anything to get Star Wars away from the bottom of that list. How would I rate Rocky? For what it does, it'd get a strong three stars from me. But it's definitely high on the strange scale, I'll grant DKC that. Glad I watched the edited version with her, and not the unedited one (which I must have never seen. I would have remembered that. Definitely.)

Trick or treating to begin soon. DC is a pumpkin. Maybe I'll remember to post pictures. :-)

Halfway There

Passed the 38,000 word mark on the rewrite this morning. I'm feeling quite good about it, overall, though as always, the real test will be when beta readers get it and tell me what they think. Still, even if they don't like it, I've had a fun time writing it. Things out here in Maine are different, writing-wise. No writing group, and little day-to-day contact with other people who write--and certainly hardly anything with other people who write fantasy. On the one hand, that's let me figure out who I am as a writer more, but on the other hand, it can be hard at times to keep pressing forward. The lack of firm deadlines and knowing that other people will know how much I have (or haven't) been writing has slowed me down some, I know. Then again, maybe it's the fact that I have a lot more to do out here in Maine than I had in Utah. Who knows? In any case, it'll be nice to get this novel done. I'm getting itchy to try some new things. I like revising, but I also like fresh writing.

Alcatraz Versus the Scrivener's Bones

A shout out today to my good friend Brandon Sanderson, whose two new books (Alcatraz Versus the Scrivener's Bones and Mistborn: Hero of Ages) I have recently acquired. For those of you who don't know Brandon, he's a fantasy author who typically writes big thick books that could probably be considered lethal weapons in about 38 states. His Mistborn series is epic epic fantasy (although it's only three books long, which is a nice change of pace for a lot of fantasy series). Fantastic series, published by Tor. By the way, Brandon's currently mad at work on the final Robert Jordan Wheel of Time book. He was handpicked by Jordan's widow to finish the series. Big news, if you're a fantasy fan.

Which is why Brandon's other series (Alcatraz) is so surprising. Here's this guy who usually writes tomes, instead writing YA/Middle Grade Fantasy Lite. Funny, bouncy stuff that actually makes you laugh. So . . . stuff more along the lines of what I typically write. (Except I don't get paid buhzillions of dollars to do so.) Anyway--I'm digressing.

What I wanted to say was that there's this cool new book out, and if you know an 8-12 year old reader out there (or even just someone who likes fun YA fantasy), tell them about this book. Imagine a world where librarians rule with an iron fist. They have complete power. (Actually, that sounds like a pretty cool proposition. Maybe I should move there.) Now have a young teen boy find out that that world is actually our own. That the life we're living now is a lie, and that librarians are ruling us even if we don't know it. He Fights the Power, and hilarity ensures. I don't have enough time or space to do the series justice here. Buy a friend a copy for Christmas. Buy yourself one, too. If epic fantasy's more your thing, check Mistborn out instead. Brandon's a fantastic writer, and you really can't go wrong with any of his books. Plus, he's been one of the best influences on my writing. Four years of writing group with the man--couldn't be beat. Hence the shout out today on my blog.

Seriously--go check it out. If you don't want to buy one, get one from your library. Because libraries are cool. Even if they're sometimes portrayed as ruthless.

Houses with Character

I love my house. Don't get me wrong. It has tons of character.

Original wooden spiral staircase? Fantastic.
Kitchen with exposed beams from the 1830s? Superb.
Bay windows in three of the rooms? Gorgeous.
Giant storage room over the barn? Great.
An original gun closet complete with ammo chest? Neato.
Only one bathroom? Fine.
Pipes that want to freeze in the winter? It happens.
Garage roof that needed to be reroofed? It was old.
No insulation in the attic? We can fix that.
Old clapboard on the garage that's going to have to be replaced? Well, that happens, too.
Leak in the roof by one of the chimneys? Okay.
Hole where a raccoon burrowed through the garage to get at my trash? Wait a minute.
Sagging floor that needs to be jacked up? I don't think I--
Crumbling part of the foundation that's going to cost $1000 to fix? Now stop right--
Rotting sills around the base of the garage? I'm not sure I--
Two front doors that won't open? They won't open?
Front porch that's about as level as a crooked politician? A crooked politician? Really?

I've discovered that having a house with character comes with a price tag. Sometimes there are surprises you haven't budgeted for, and that can be kind of disturbing now and then, but I'd have to say I'm still a firm believer in character over utility. Sure, they cost a lot to heat, they can be drafty now and then, and they have a tendency to ask for more money than you'd like to give them . . . I'm going to stop now. Because I really do love my house. It's just that sometimes, you have to be willing to overlook the flaws and focus on the strengths--just like in any relationship. We've got plans for this house. Finished attics, skylights, 3/4 bathrooms and renovated kitchens. It's just that we have to fix some of it up first before we can move on to the big plans stage.

Step one? Fix that foundation. Wish us luck.

Blaming Others for Faults in your Musical Taste

Sometimes it happens. Children too young to be able to escape the mistakes of others. Impressionable minds, ruined by the taint of others' choices. It's not a crime yet, but maybe one day . . . it will be. I'm talking, of course, about inflicting your musical taste on your children.

I'm sure I'm already doing it to TRC, and no doubt DC is being affected as well. And years from now, TRC and DC will look sheepishly at their friends as a song comes on the radio, and they happen to know all the lyrics to it. Maybe this will make more sense when I admit my two experiences.

Air Supply and Barry Manilow.

I know. You all think less of me now. But I don't just know the songs--I can sing along with them. Sure, there are the cool ones. Copacabana, and . . . well, that's about it. And then there are all the others. Mandy. Every Woman in the World. Making Love Out of Nothing at All. I Write the Songs.

I'd like to hear what travesties your parents have inflicted on you. Any songs you wish you didn't know--and even worse, actually enjoy listening to, even though you wish you didn't? Please share.

And in other news, my house has a roof leak. It also rained two inches on Saturday night. But BYU beat UNLV, so all is right with the world.

Now excuse me while I go listen to New York City Rhythm.

Time for Some Learning

Okay. I've decided that it being Friday and all, you need to learn something. Something you didn't know before today. (Maybe some of you knew this, but I'm betting the vast majority of you didn't). Ever heard of the Wilhelm Scream? You might not know you've heard it, but I can almost guarantee you have. (BTW--Thanks to my sister Gretel for suggesting this post. It's a topic I've known about for some time, but haven't thought of blogging about.)

In a nutshell, the Wilhelm Scream is a short scream sound effect used in many movies today. Think of it sort of like the Goofy holler (the one Goofy would always use when he did something stupid), or the Tarzan yell. It's a sound effect used over and over, in many different movies. Just like with Alfred Hitchcock's cameos, once you know they're there, you start looking for them and can get a kick out of finding the Wilhelm Scream in various movies, from Star Wars to Raiders of the Lost Ark to Transformers to Juno to Cars. Just something to add to your movie enjoyment, and to point out to others. It'll make you seem either very knowledgeable about film, or seem like a total bore. You never can tell until you start talking about it. :-)

For a great overview of the topic, check out this video, or Wikipedia's entry on it.

Have a nice weekend, all.

Brisk

The weather continues to get chillier. We're trying out a combo of our wood stove, electric heaters, oil heat, and extra layers of clothing. It all seems to be working well for now, but who knows how much oil we're actually using. That's the stuff you want to avoid. And I'm sure this is all just fascinating to you. Hearing me prattle on about my heat. Well I have a blog, and you don't--so you will read every word I write! (Bonus to those of you who can name the movie reference in that last sentence.)

Today, I still have to teach a class, go to the dentist, watch the kids while DKC works, carve three pumpkins, and finish this blog post. Guess which one's going to get done first.

I Forgot

I forgot to post yesterday. My bad. Things have been crazy around here, but that's no excuse for me leaving the collective world hanging, wondering what in the world was happening in my life and not being able to read my blog post to find out. I apologize.

And . . . not a whole lot is happening that I can discuss on teh Internutz. Maybe will have some News concerning me in the near future. Sadly, no--not a book deal or anything remotely related to a book deal. Although the rewrite is picking up speed now that I'm past the opening. I think I'm in chapter 7 now? Not sure--I know I'm above 22,000 words, because that was a third of the way, and I noticed I was beyond that. Go me.

In other news, I've watched a couple of movies lately. The first was Poseidon, remake of The Poseidon Adventure, which was its superior in everything but special effects. For those of you who don't know, it's a boat disaster movie. Think Titanic, but instead of sinking, the boat flips upside down. It was in hi-def, so it was at least good eye candy, although I can't really remember who the characters were, and I didn't really care who died or not except as a challenge with DKC to see if I could call character deaths in the order they happened. I got some, missed some, but it made the movie a tad more fun. One and a half stars.

The other film I watched was Family Business, a crime movie starring James Bond, Rain Man and Ferris Bueller, or as they're better known: Sean Connery, Dustin Hoffman, and Matthew Broderick. Interesting movie that really got into the meat of familial relationships for better or worse, then got lost a tad at the end. The tone went back and forth between light hearted and deathly serious, and unfortunately ended on the serious note. Good, well acted, but it could have been better. Two and a half stars out of four.

Oh--I lit the wood stove yesterday. Cheap and cold lost out to poor and warm.

How to Tell It's Time to Fire Up The Woodstove

When you wake up and it's 54 degrees in the kitchen and that doesn't feel "that cold" to you. Seriously, it's chilling right down up here in Maine. No snow yet, but that's just because it hasn't rained when it was cold enough. That might change Wednesday. That said, I have to say I'm looking forward to winter, even though I know a lot of Mainers will hate me for saying it. What with DKC's job and the chance to save up for heat over the course of the year, I feel much better prepared than we were last year at this time. Good thing, too--since the word on the street is that it's going to be a really cold winter. I fired up the snowblower, and it's primed and ready to go. I have my DVRed movies, I work at a library with plenty of access to anything and everything I'd like to read . . . what's not to love about winter, besides the fuel costs? :-)

Dear BYU

The next time you decide to choke, if you could be so kind as to send me an email or something so that I don't waste my time listening to your lousiness, I'd be much obliged. I guess I shouldn't be too surprised. I mean, we had some really near misses, and there were some troubling signs with the team--signs I was doing my best to ignore. That's what I get for deluding myself.

And I threw my back out, too. So I'm in a very grumbly mood this morning. Go read someone else's blog. Trust me--you don't want to listen to me anymore. Hopefully things look brighter on Monday.

The Debate, Or Why HD Is a Bad Invention

Has anyone watched the debates in high def? Seeing McCain in all his grizzledness is a sight I have no desire to witness ever again.

Ever.

And BYU's playing TCU tonight. Big game. Go BYU!!!

Now, I have a headache. So that's all I'm gonna post today.

Vacationing

The best part about vacationing is the vacation. The worst part is coming back to a full email box and a slew of things that have to be done. Things more important than blogging, alas. However, I'll give you a quick rundown of How I Spent My Columbus Day Vacation:

• Went to the auction, and bought a table and chairs, a clock, various garden tools, a sewing desk, coffee table, end table and other sundries. I love the auction. Love it.
• Drove up to Rangeley to see the beautiful trees. Actually a bit late to see the beautiful trees up there in all there glory, but still very pretty.
• Went shopping
• Went on a date with DKC--saw City of Ember, a movie I really enjoyed. DKC and I loved the book, and the film had Bill Murray in it. What's not to like? Well, the theater had crappy sound that warbled out all the music and made it sound tiny and pitchy, but what can you do? I give the film a good three out of four stars. The scene design alone is worth the price of admission, and the teenage actors did a fantastic job. I thoroughly enjoyed myself (and if you live in the area, the word on the street is that the sound problem has been fixed, so go ahead and go). It's a great family-friendly movie, although probably a tad scary for the littlest ones. I don't think TRC would have enjoyed it.
• Cleaned out my garage. It looks like a new room. Honestly. You should have seen how much garbage was hauled away to the dump. A Civic and an Explorer's worth. Lots.

Anyway--a Fun Time Was Had By All. And now I have to get back to work.

Vacation

Howdy all. I'm pleased to announce that I'll officially be on vacation for the next five days. I'll be back at work on Wednesday, but until then, I might very well just (gasp!) not post. Then again, maybe I'll take some fun pictures and want to show them to ya'll. You never know, with Bryces.

Revision update (for those who care): It's taken me a while to slog through the first four chapters of ParkerBoy, but I'm really happy with how it's turning out, and I think it should start going more smoothly soon. The beginning was the part that had the most need for revision, and the book seemed to get stronger for most readers the farther in they read. So maybe four more chapters to go at most, and then I hope it's smoother sailing. We'll see.

Potential big news for DKC fans out there, but I can't announce that yet publicly. And no, it's not about a baby, just in case any of you try to read things into my statements. I remember right after we were married, I was in the habit of handing the phone to DKC when I was talking to someone, telling them that she had some "big news." I never meant that she was pregnant, but nine times out of ten, that's what people got geared up for. I try to avoid giving people the wrong impression these days, but sometimes I fail. Oh well.

Have a happy Columbus Day everyone, and if you don't get it off, then I'll have a happy Columbus Day for you. :-)

Why My Day Yesterday Was So Awful

Really. It wasn't an abnormal day--no one died, nothing catastrophic or anything. But as far as your regular, run-of-the-mill days go, it was one of the worst ones I've had. I don't really want to go into detail (I already did that in an extensive journal entry), but let me just sum up the highlights of why yesterday was so awful. It involved a near-fatal accident, a heavy sofa, police looking for me, a near-arrest, an angry classroom, over two hours of driving, way too many meetings, and constantly doing something from 5:55 until 9:45, when I "rested" by watching the debate.

It was a bad day, and I'm glad it's over.

I am Busier than . . .

I am busier than a bee working overtime.

I am busier than a cash register at Christmas time.

I am busier than a Walmart on Black Friday.

I am busier than a mother of fourteen. (Well . . . probably not this one.)

I am busier than an army of ants at a barbecue.

Anyone else care to play this game? What am I busier than?

House Cleaning and General Conference

So this past weekend was General Conference. For those "Mormon-Impaired" readers out there, General Conference is a twice a year meeting where church leaders (the prophet, the twelve apostles and the like) address the church as a whole. I can answer more specific questions about it if any of you would like, but I'm trying to keep this blog as preachy-free as possible. (Is preachy-free anything like peachy keen? Or squeaky clean? Because I'd like my blog to be all of the above, if possible. Maybe I should send out clean peaches to readers or something.)

Anyway.

General Conference consists of five two hour sessions. For those "Math-Impaired" readers out there, that's ten hours. Six hours Saturday and four Sunday. Since I get satellite television, I can watch four of these sessions on BYU-TV, the fifth one (Priesthood Session) is only available at church buildings. But all us Mormon Men in the area got together early and ate a whole bunch of food, then watched conference. Food is an excellent bribe for just about anything.

Did this post have a point?

Oh yes. The fact of the matter is that I don't do too well if I'm just plopped down and expected to Pay Attention for ten hours. In the past, I've taken this time to do other things with my hands. Make chain mail armor, or do counted cross-stitch. Anything that keeps me busy. But I was out of stuff to do this year. (Well, I'd planned on whittling, but other things beckoned). I ended up cleaning up my home office. It actually worked really well. I have a TV up there, and I could just sit and sort and listen and shred papers and listen some more. The whole thing got cleaned, and I learned a few things while I was at it. A very good weekend, all in all, even if it was far different from one of my typical weekends.

And on the Brighter Side . . .

Thought you all might enjoy the following two links. If you'd like a great screen cleaner, click here. If you saw the debate last night, click here.

Late Night Bryce vs. Early Morning Bryce

Sometimes I swear I've got multiple personalities. How is it that almost every single night, I end up staying up until 11:30 or 12:00, enjoying myself by watching the Daily Show or Colbert Report and convincing myself that I'll be fine in the morning, only to then proceed to wake up in the morning at 5:55 (or 6:15, depending on how many times I slap that snooze button) and hate myself for having stayed up that late? You'd think I'd learn my lesson. Go to sleep late = be tired and grouchy in the morning. But no. By the time 9:00pm rolls around, I stop having any interest in sleep. It's like a switch goes off in my head, and I transform from the "Bryce Who Was Tired All Day at Work" to the "Bryce Who Wants to Watch a Full-Length Movie." If I had a lick of sense, I'd go to bed early. But then I'd miss out on the movie.

I suppose in the end it's the old giving up something worthwhile later for something worthless now sort of thing. I mean, it's not like my life is enriched by most of the stuff I watch at night--although the extra time just getting to hang out with my wife when there are no kids around is a definite plus. But still, I know that I'd be getting more out of my days if I gave myself a few more hours of sleep each night. And yet I don't do it. So where else do I fall into this pattern?

Well, eating is definitely one. I know in my head that it's a bad idea to have three pieces of fudge, and that the long term health risks (obesity, diabetes, etc.) outweigh the three seconds of pleasure that fudge will bring me. And yet I eat it anyway. And how about snapping at my family? Sometimes I can be feeling stressed, and I know that if I snap at TRC or DC that I'll feel good for a second, only to regret it later. But I still snap. I could probably go on with this list, but I don't want to bag on myself too much here.

What I'm trying to get at is that maybe I ought to be approaching things differently. Maybe I ought to start deciding to opt for the long-term good choices as opposed to the short-term poor ones. I would think that it's a life skill--as I get better at only eating one piece of fudge instead of three, I'll also get better at not snapping at my family, or at going to bed at a decent hour.

All fine and good in theory, but I have no idea how/when I'll ever get any good at putting it into practice. Do any of you have any tips for dealing with this? I'd love to hear them.

Hiccups

Hiccups are probably the dumbest thing in the existence of man. I mean, come on--we can't even decide how to spell the blasted things. (Hiccup or Hiccough?) If it's any difference to the thousands of hiccup sufferers reading this, I've found a cure that worked for me today: I just ate thin mints until the hiccups went away. That sounds cooler than it was--all it ended up taking was three thin mints. But ah, the blessed relief after they were gone.

Speaking of hiccups, who here is ready for some political ones tonight? Makes me want to keep score--who screws up the most: Biden or Palin? Mwa-ha-ha-ha!

The Mentalist vs. Fringe, or What Makes a Good Story Great

So I've been following the new shows that are premiering, putting my DVR to good use. And for the most part, things have been pretty easy. As usual, the majority of the debuts are of things that I Have No Use For, and feel comfortable ignoring. For example, I don't do sitcoms. For me to actually watch a comedy show on television, there'd better be something spectacular about it, and I better be hearing great things from across the board (for two examples of what fits this description, see Arrested Development and Seinfeld, although from what I've been hearing, 30 Rock is beginning to tickle my interest). In any case, the television shows I'll Make Time For are ones that sound interesting--different. I've enjoyed Pushing Daisies a lot and am looking forward to the new season starting tonight. Chuck is growing on me, and I love Reaper (and am sad it's up in the air as to when it will return).

Anyway.

Last night posed an interesting problem. There were three shows on at the same time, and I can only DVR two. So Biggest Loser had to go (I watch it for inspiration--nothing makes you feel thin like watching morbidly obese people weigh themselves). The two shows I taped were The Mentalist and Fringe. This was the second episode of the Mentalist and the fourth of Fringe. Fringe got the big buzz going into the season--JJ Abrams and all that. The Mentalist snuck in under my radar, but I heard good things at the last minute. And after watching three episodes of Fringe and two of The Mentalist, I'd have to say I'm leaning heavily toward The Mentalist.

But why?

Both shows are crime solvers at heart. Fringe is just about gory grotesque crimes that are caused by far out science. The Mentalist is about a man who used to pretend to be psychic, but who now uses his powers of acute observation to help the police. What I mean to say is that either show could be good. And both shows ARE good. But The Mentalist is drawing me in more, and I tried to figure out why. It all comes down to character. The leading characters in Fringe are strange and bizarre and don't feel like real people. There's this thing called "The Pattern" that they're all trying to understand, but some of them know more than others, and the ones who know less refuse to just stop dead in their tracks and say "What the heck is this Pattern thing anyway?" That bugs me. The show's trying to be all spooky, but it's doing it by withholding information. Lame. In the Mentalist, however, the main character is smarter than I am. He sees things I miss, but when he points them out to other people in the show, the things he observes and the conclusions he draws from them make sense. But he's not arrogant about it all--he seems like a nice guy. I like him. I like watching him work. I don't like the characters in Fringe. I'll give that show a bit more of a shot, and then I'm gonna go back to watching the morbidly obese people. And when a highly-budgeted sci-fi crime drama can lose my interest in favor of fat sweaty exercise, you know something's up.